~Beware~ Novel Ahead, lol

I’m putting the finishing touches on my listings for my shop opening and as I finished working with this specific postcard, my mind flashed to where I was just one year ago and I had to take a moment and smile.

I painted this last year while taking the most wonderful online art workshop, "Between Shadow & Light" with incredible mixed media artist, Ivette Newport...

I had been afraid of posting my work anywhere or showing it to anybody- online or in person, but pushed myself to shyly post in her Facebook group because I was craving community and needed a break from my self imposed isolation. I still remember the feeling of utter terror that instantly washed over me after I made the post.

What did I just do?! Who did I think I was? My art wasn’t good enough! Can I even call that art?! Why on earth did I make her green?! There were so many mistakes, so many things I wanted to fix, so many things I should have done better… which was why I never posted anything.

It felt so vulnerable. Putting myself out there with all “my” imperfections on display for the whole world to see.

So, immediately after I posted, I shut down my computer and went back to work to keep myself from deleting my post. (like right now, lol)

A few days later, much to my surprise, Ivy generously featured it on her Facebook page. She gave me the most amazing gift that day and I reached the first rung in building my confidence back up (from difficult art teachers in the past)… and I started to realize, just maybe, everything didn’t have to be perfect in order to share it or for others to enjoy it.

I think its amazing how each little decision we make can add up to big things- wonderful things- we may not even know are waiting for us.

I think back to the person I was a year ago and wish I could hug her and tell her it’s going to be ok. I’m fairly hard on myself -all the time. and I’m sure there are a few of you nodding your heads in understanding. So, this is for you and for me…

Instead of waiting and looking back, I’m going to give that kindness to myself today (as the gremlins are running wild in my head during these final shop preparations) and if you are struggling, I hope you will give the same kindness to yourself- that same kindness you would give to any friend.

Reminding you and me that good things are waiting for all of us, even if they are nowhere in sight right now, even if we fall, even if we fail, as long as we face our fears, get back up and keep trying.

Huge love for you all